New Orleans - Day 1

We are back! 

After spending 4 days in New Orleans, we have returned to Denver with mixed feelings: glad to be back and sad for leaving all that partying behind us!

 While we adjust to normal life, we will take a peak back to what happened in Louisiana. 

My boyfriend will offer his view of the trip and I will add my version of the facts  in the bottom of each post!

Enjoy!

New Orleans, LA

"Feeling cheery from my free scotch in first class (nice touch on the upgrade United, until you lost my bag), we dropped off our things just a shade past midnight at our hotel, The Pelham, a classic old hotel that could use some updating but would charm the panties off of a nun. 20 foot high ceilings, windows bigger than my first apartment and intricate woodwork,  the kind of artistry that used to be expected in buildings before everything became about profit and all buildings started to look the same, as a friend of mine calls this country, the United States of Generica.

{The Pelham Hotel - 444 Common Street, New Orleans, LA}

Like any tourists looking for some trouble we headed to Bourbon St, a land of decadence, free-flowing libations and guys that really think the fraternity life is cool, even after college. I’m pretty sure ladies don’t swoon to backwards hat wearing chubby white boys that scream chug and drink from 70 oz beer bottles.   Bourbon St has a certain smell to it; it’s the worst combinations of dry urine, old vomit and horse crap you’ve ever had the mis-pleasure of taking a whiff of, but then some stripper shakes her ass in a doorway and you forget about what is invading your sinus cavity for a short second. The place really does smell like the worst New York City subway you’ve ever been in, if, on top of that smell,  a horse defecated in it…but I think everyone is too drunk to notice.  It really is a party, plenty of fun, loads of bad and one hell of an inebriated adventure.  Sadly amidst all of this frivolity we didn’t take photos that night….damn.

I quickly discovered, even before reaching Bourbon St, that drinking in public is not only acceptable but apparently encouraged, welcomed, or at the very least accepted, like pot in Amsterdam, sure it’s technically illegal but you’d have a hard time knowing that is isn’t. Buoyed by this discovery I grabbed a beer for my walk, I only had the equivalent of 5 or 6 shots of scotch on my flight so why not? Even buzzed I was the most sober man in New Orleans after midnight.

Bourbon St is truly fun, though remarkably cheesy too. It has a surprising amount of strip clubs, there was a Stilletos, a Ricks, Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club, some place that just had pictures of naked couples doing perverse acts plastered on the outside, a bunch of local places with either really fat and I mean fat  or seriously ugly strippers and a ton of novelty drinks; hand grenades, fish bowls, and the occasional male member cocktail, those seemed to be the bachelorette party goers, but that’s what this one sliver of Nawlins  is like, it’s cheesy as hell but you can deal with the cheddar for a bit because it’s just so damn fun. It’d be sad if all you did was spend every night here, but stoppin’ in for a bit a couple nights of your trip is a good idea.

Our first night was short, I would have never come home being a 32 year old, functional degenerate but the lady was a bit tired and who could blame her?  Plus, it’s a tough place to be sober in, there is no more annoying group of people on earth than drunks when you’re sober.  I grabbed some quick pizza at a place that had frozen drinks pre-made and ready to come out of a dispenser for the customers that don’t care what their booze tastes like as long as it’s masked by something fruity. I eat my Italian mediocrity, get another beer and make the short walk home to our hotel."

The Boyfriend

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And here is how I saw that first night:

I've been to New Orleans before. 

So, when I found myself extremely shocked with everything I saw on Bourbon Street on our first night in town, I thought that was a really surprising feeling. I came to New Orleans in 2005 to do a junket for a movie filmed in the city and had a blast. Unfortunately, Katrina was about to hit New Orleans, and I was evacuated with all the other International reporters. Still, during five days spent in the city, I went out every night and staying a block away from Bourbon Street, it is almost impossible to avoid the craziness. But, nothing I saw in 2005 compares to what I saw this time. I keep trying to justify it, that it was all because of the holiday - coming to New Orleans during Memorial Day Weekend was not my smartest moment. I'm not entirely sure. I saw some pretty crazy things that first night. 

I think we were so shocked with everything we saw that we didn't even could react or thought about taking any pictures. 

The first thing I did not remember was the smell. It was almost impossible to walk down Bourbon Street. It smelled of pee + vomit + horse poo + more pee all together. It was scary. The people we saw were completely, absolutely wasted. Not one of them could walk in a straight line. I can say that night was really kind of scary and I was thankful I was not a lonely girl, walking down the street by myself. 

There were so many stripper joints. I really don't remember that. Or, at least, that quantity. And what about the gigantic, fat strippers naked in the doorways? Ugh...

My boyfriend, though, was in the mood to have fun, so he probably thought everything was super cool and free and different. 

And it is different. 

New Orleans is nothing like anything that exists in the U.S. That sense of security and organization is lost here. Some say Latin America starts in New Orleans and I completely agree. This is one of my favorite places in the country for a reason: it makes me feel at home (insecure, afraid, around everything that's crazy and wrong). And, of course, it has amazing food (food that actually tastes like something), music everywhere, color, life, very, very different than any other generic city in America. 

To tell the truth, while we walked back to the hotel I felt a sense of relief and regret. Relief for moving towards something that was calm and away from all of that craziness and regret for being in New Orleans. 

But, it was Friday night and I have no patience to do anything on Friday nights. I'm tired, done with the week, looking for rest and serenity not partying with strippers and college boys. 

When I woke up on Saturday morning, things had changed. 


{For cheap drinks while strolling up and down Bourbon Street: stop by 
Zydeco Jambalaya - 729 Canal Street - New Orleans, LA - (504) 412-9560}

Stay tuned for the next New Orleans posts to come...